Wednesday, May 23, 2012
poetry mayhem...this one is for my daughter
chrysalis
once very tiny inside my womb
growing ever so slowly
ready to be reborn
born once when conceived
born again when you emerged
with a kick and a cry
into your new world
awakend and amazed at all around you
growing so fast and learning so quickly
struggling
overcoming
lonely
screaming
crying
railing against the bonds that hold you down
in love
happy
beautiful
smiling
blossoming
into the person you are today
once again like a chrysalis
you have opened your wings
and are ready to be reborn again
to begin the next adventure
to travel down a new road
to live a new life
your were mine
now i set you free
5.23.2012
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
poetry mayhem
angel
there is an angel that comes to me
in the night
as a dream
during the day
as a whisper in my ear
it may be a fleeting glimmer
barely remembered as I wake
or a sensation that lasts all day
is he seeking sin or salvation
temptation
saturation
starvation
liberation
release
rescue
is he saint or sinner
this angel watching over me
or is he my epiphany
leading me down a path
i would not ordinarily choose
he comes to me in the early morning daylight
he comes to me miday
he come to me at twilight
saint
sinner
temptation
salvation
rescue or relase
this angel of my dreams
5.15.12
bermuda triangle of libraries
we've begun to keep a tally at the front desk of the weird encountered daily.....
today's tally:
cowboy: today he first, of course, commented about my hair, for the hundredth, thousandth time. it's getting a wee bit old. then wanted to know why i didn't ever cut it any closer to my head. i responded "well then i'd have a crew cut." he said "what, you don't want to look like a man?" umm "no not really." he then moves on to is it me that smells so good. i answer "no not me, i'm not wearing perfume." he proceeds to grab my wrist and sniff! ewwwww. he says "mmm smells good." my reply " well you must be smelling some old perfume that's on this sweater because i don't have any perfume on today."
lithium man: who has now taken to following groups of young girls around. he told a coworker that he has a job starting tomorrow counseling people at a fairly well known bank. hmmmmmm.
gr: in but didn't cause any trouble.
white glove lady: one of those who wear white gloves because they are scared of germs, but nothing else is protected. she also thinks it's okay to wander freely in private areas of the library (workroom/office areas)
a new one:
crap man: he came in at opening looking for his big black backpack that he said he left behind a decorative retaining wall in front of the building, had anyone turned it in. after consulting the first two employees that had arrived, they said a city employee and a policeman had been in that area putting the flag at half-mast in observance of fallen peace officer day. i call the city employee who tells me he called the police because the guy (crap man) does this kind of stuff all over town and did we know that he had taken a crap behind the retaining wall and left the "evidence" with toilet paper and his pack. he could pick up his pack at the police department. i then had to find cp in the library and tell him he could pick up his stuff at the police department. he had a strange look on his face, and as he walked away his back side is covered with grass and dirt.
ONCE AGAIN I COULDN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP IF I TRIED!
i believe our library is the bermuda triangle of libraries!!!!
today's tally:
cowboy: today he first, of course, commented about my hair, for the hundredth, thousandth time. it's getting a wee bit old. then wanted to know why i didn't ever cut it any closer to my head. i responded "well then i'd have a crew cut." he said "what, you don't want to look like a man?" umm "no not really." he then moves on to is it me that smells so good. i answer "no not me, i'm not wearing perfume." he proceeds to grab my wrist and sniff! ewwwww. he says "mmm smells good." my reply " well you must be smelling some old perfume that's on this sweater because i don't have any perfume on today."
lithium man: who has now taken to following groups of young girls around. he told a coworker that he has a job starting tomorrow counseling people at a fairly well known bank. hmmmmmm.
gr: in but didn't cause any trouble.
white glove lady: one of those who wear white gloves because they are scared of germs, but nothing else is protected. she also thinks it's okay to wander freely in private areas of the library (workroom/office areas)
a new one:
crap man: he came in at opening looking for his big black backpack that he said he left behind a decorative retaining wall in front of the building, had anyone turned it in. after consulting the first two employees that had arrived, they said a city employee and a policeman had been in that area putting the flag at half-mast in observance of fallen peace officer day. i call the city employee who tells me he called the police because the guy (crap man) does this kind of stuff all over town and did we know that he had taken a crap behind the retaining wall and left the "evidence" with toilet paper and his pack. he could pick up his pack at the police department. i then had to find cp in the library and tell him he could pick up his stuff at the police department. he had a strange look on his face, and as he walked away his back side is covered with grass and dirt.
ONCE AGAIN I COULDN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP IF I TRIED!
i believe our library is the bermuda triangle of libraries!!!!
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
monarch love
in the backyard today:
in the top one, he's getting ready to join his friends well hidden on the fence behind the holly berry tree.
we've got one large one still eating his way through the butterfly bush.
and then we have two teeny tiny ones that must have just hatched! love watching them grow.
in the top one, he's getting ready to join his friends well hidden on the fence behind the holly berry tree.
we've got one large one still eating his way through the butterfly bush.
and then we have two teeny tiny ones that must have just hatched! love watching them grow.
poetry mayhem
patience is not a virtue
patience. i am not patient.
i do not wait well.
they say patience is a virtue.
i say it's a curse.
a watched pot never boils.
you're damn right it doesn't.
it just sits there slightly bubbling,
laughing a little at you while you wait.
all things come to those who wait.
really?
then why am i still waiting?
waiting. checking the phone.
checking my inbox. just waiting.
i am the baby of the family.
obviously used to getting my way.
my way is i want it now.
like yesterday.
be patient. that light will turn green.
i'm still stuck at red.
waiting.
the longer you wait,
the anticipation is supposed to make you
enjoy what you are waiting for more.
it just makes me angry.
i want to stamp my feet like a little girl
and scream at the top of my lungs
until i get what i am waiting for.
love is patient and kind?
what do those two things have to do
with each other any way?
patience is a curse.
clock watching.
steering wheel thumping.
staring at your computer screen
or cell phone waiting for those icons
to light up like christmas.
and yet still here i sit.
waiting.
tomorrow it will be the same, only worse.
because now i've been waiting even longer.
and what little patience (if any i've ever had)
will be long gone.
then i will be pacing. wondering.
and second guessing myself.
maybe it's not meant to be?
is that why my patience is running thin.
is someone trying to tell me something?
don't put off til tomorrow
what you can do today.
exactly.
that is why patience is not a virtue.
for me it is a curse.
5.9.2012
patience. i am not patient.
i do not wait well.
they say patience is a virtue.
i say it's a curse.
a watched pot never boils.
you're damn right it doesn't.
it just sits there slightly bubbling,
laughing a little at you while you wait.
all things come to those who wait.
really?
then why am i still waiting?
waiting. checking the phone.
checking my inbox. just waiting.
i am the baby of the family.
obviously used to getting my way.
my way is i want it now.
like yesterday.
be patient. that light will turn green.
i'm still stuck at red.
waiting.
the longer you wait,
the anticipation is supposed to make you
enjoy what you are waiting for more.
it just makes me angry.
i want to stamp my feet like a little girl
and scream at the top of my lungs
until i get what i am waiting for.
love is patient and kind?
what do those two things have to do
with each other any way?
patience is a curse.
clock watching.
steering wheel thumping.
staring at your computer screen
or cell phone waiting for those icons
to light up like christmas.
and yet still here i sit.
waiting.
tomorrow it will be the same, only worse.
because now i've been waiting even longer.
and what little patience (if any i've ever had)
will be long gone.
then i will be pacing. wondering.
and second guessing myself.
maybe it's not meant to be?
is that why my patience is running thin.
is someone trying to tell me something?
don't put off til tomorrow
what you can do today.
exactly.
that is why patience is not a virtue.
for me it is a curse.
5.9.2012
Monday, May 7, 2012
a whole lotta nothing
monday...a whole lotta nothing going on. well i guess i shouldn't say that. 2 good friends came through for me. =:O) thank you. you know who you are!
looking forward to the week ahead. work tomorrow. day off wednesday. maybe even getting my early birthday present to myself then. if not then, then real soon!
my baby....22 year old baby....took her last college final today! so proud of her. it's been a long road and she's done so well, and grown so much. grad school in the fall. that's my girl.
that's it. nothing else. quite boring today. tomorrow, well, that may be a whole nother can o' worms.
looking forward to the week ahead. work tomorrow. day off wednesday. maybe even getting my early birthday present to myself then. if not then, then real soon!
my baby....22 year old baby....took her last college final today! so proud of her. it's been a long road and she's done so well, and grown so much. grad school in the fall. that's my girl.
that's it. nothing else. quite boring today. tomorrow, well, that may be a whole nother can o' worms.
Saturday, May 5, 2012
library rant
I often wonder what it is that makes libraries so attractive and inviting to strange people who do weird things. Are we that welcoming? Is it just because it's a special place? Do they feel comfortable flying their freak flag?
I mean where else can you have a man mooning a lady in the parking lot because she dislikes the Astros? And where else can said man walk up to a gaggle of teen girls and tell them they are fat? Or how about the time he called a lady "cunt" (sorry mom if you are reading) just because she and her toddler happened to be walking in as he was trying to walk out.
Nest builders, dumpster divers, food snatchers--when I worked at the Medical Center Library in Houston for a few years, one of the staff would go across the street to the TWU cafeteria and get cheese rolls for breakfast only to be accosted on the walk back and have our rolls stolen.
The whisperer, Mr. Wanky, Mr. Can I have 5 crisp $1 bills. That's only the tip of the iceberg people. People who work in libraries are like bartenders. We hear anything and everything. We should also get hazard pay and haz mat suites. Cleaning up your own kid's barf is one thing, but cleaning up a trail of it down the hall that belongs to some one else's kid is another. Let's not talk about scrubbing poop off of the carpet, or cleaning up a bathroom stall where some one had the unfortunate experience of exploding everywhere. Blood, don't even get me started about blood.
Shall we talk about the gross things we find in books and dvd's? Dead bugs, chunks of food,
money (that one is not so bad), hair, uh let's just say all kinds of hair, above and below, if you get my drift. Medical prescriptions--I'd rather not know that Mr. H is becoming a Ms. Y. Barf, snot. How do you tell some one that you are charging them for a movie because it had diarrhea all over it and inside it? They want to see the proof....um yeah I kept that to show you, right. And the real big nasty animal urine. It does and can congeal, bet ya didn't know that.
Over the years we've had the growth chart man, mr. can i borrow a trash bag to tie off my arm so I can go shoot up drugs in your bathroom. The toilet percher, *Maddy who's mom fell off the moon and was trying to get back to earth. She also used to be a hand model, work at NASA and looks, according to her like Jesus. Bathroom dude who was accused of being in the women's restroom and trying to take pictures of a little girl by putting his phone under the stall.
We do give code names to identify our "people". You have to have a good sense of humor
and a strong will to work in a public library. Next time you visit one give us a smile, say hello, put please don't give us the contents of your pocket, or money with white powder on them. And for God's sake, don't come in when you're sick!
You make think all this ranting means I don't like my job. I do. It just keeps it mighty interesting, because you never, ever know what the day will bring.
On a side note the grocery store visit today was disappointing, the 6 ft+ tranny was not shopping tonight, nor was the weird couple with the man who has dyed black hair and wears blush.
Hmmm....maybe it's me that is attracting all the freaks and weirdos......nah it couldn't be, could it?
*name changed
I mean where else can you have a man mooning a lady in the parking lot because she dislikes the Astros? And where else can said man walk up to a gaggle of teen girls and tell them they are fat? Or how about the time he called a lady "cunt" (sorry mom if you are reading) just because she and her toddler happened to be walking in as he was trying to walk out.
Nest builders, dumpster divers, food snatchers--when I worked at the Medical Center Library in Houston for a few years, one of the staff would go across the street to the TWU cafeteria and get cheese rolls for breakfast only to be accosted on the walk back and have our rolls stolen.
The whisperer, Mr. Wanky, Mr. Can I have 5 crisp $1 bills. That's only the tip of the iceberg people. People who work in libraries are like bartenders. We hear anything and everything. We should also get hazard pay and haz mat suites. Cleaning up your own kid's barf is one thing, but cleaning up a trail of it down the hall that belongs to some one else's kid is another. Let's not talk about scrubbing poop off of the carpet, or cleaning up a bathroom stall where some one had the unfortunate experience of exploding everywhere. Blood, don't even get me started about blood.
Shall we talk about the gross things we find in books and dvd's? Dead bugs, chunks of food,
money (that one is not so bad), hair, uh let's just say all kinds of hair, above and below, if you get my drift. Medical prescriptions--I'd rather not know that Mr. H is becoming a Ms. Y. Barf, snot. How do you tell some one that you are charging them for a movie because it had diarrhea all over it and inside it? They want to see the proof....um yeah I kept that to show you, right. And the real big nasty animal urine. It does and can congeal, bet ya didn't know that.
Over the years we've had the growth chart man, mr. can i borrow a trash bag to tie off my arm so I can go shoot up drugs in your bathroom. The toilet percher, *Maddy who's mom fell off the moon and was trying to get back to earth. She also used to be a hand model, work at NASA and looks, according to her like Jesus. Bathroom dude who was accused of being in the women's restroom and trying to take pictures of a little girl by putting his phone under the stall.
We do give code names to identify our "people". You have to have a good sense of humor
and a strong will to work in a public library. Next time you visit one give us a smile, say hello, put please don't give us the contents of your pocket, or money with white powder on them. And for God's sake, don't come in when you're sick!
You make think all this ranting means I don't like my job. I do. It just keeps it mighty interesting, because you never, ever know what the day will bring.
On a side note the grocery store visit today was disappointing, the 6 ft+ tranny was not shopping tonight, nor was the weird couple with the man who has dyed black hair and wears blush.
Hmmm....maybe it's me that is attracting all the freaks and weirdos......nah it couldn't be, could it?
*name changed
Thursday, May 3, 2012
more poetry mayhem
the shore
emotions crash like waves upon the shore
leaving behind the flotsam and jetsam of my life
a broken heart, scars and bitterness
a tightrope of angry words, fists and fury
the tide rushes in bringing with it
peacefulness and longing,
the hunger for a love that will never die
as the water rises
have i made a difference i wonder
will i be remembered, remembered for the right reasons
the waves keep crashing down upon me
i can see a searchlight out in the distance
is it my love
my love coming to wash over me
to help me keep my head above the water
to cleanse me
i want to feel, i need to feel
emotions that crash like waves over me
engulf me, entangle me, engage me
strangle me if you must
i want it, i need it
wash over me until i drown in your water.
5.3.2012
things i am not ashamed to admit i like, which others my find strange and/or amusing
- bullet popsicles
- courtney love-she's a train-wreck goddess but i can't look away
- those candy wax lips and harmonicas from my youth
- the lost boys (movie) and corey haim (r.i.p)
- adam ant--antmusic for sexpeople
- chuck woolery--where is love connection when you need it?
- chocolate necco wafers
- pit bull-i don't get it either, don't normally like that latin machismo thing but something about him.......mmm
- rick springfield
- dragonflies
- doodle bugs
- every new piece of cellphone/mp3 player/or camera that comes along
- purses
- wallets
- make-up--i worship at the altar of sephora
- trace cyrus
- the people's court--judge milian kicks ass
- maury
- mayhem from those allstate commercials
what about you???????
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
more poems from inside my head
anger
anger creeps upon you like a thief in the night.
stealthy and quick and seemingly out of nowhere.
it invades your body quietly
your breath quickens
your thoughts begin to turn dark
the rage boils quick and hot
until you can no longer contain it
you try to resist but can’t keep control
these vicious emotions
manifest in ugly words
they may make you lash out
with your hands
perhaps you hit or slap
maybe you throw a glass
that shatters into a thousand pieces
on your pretty tile floor
you shake
you cry
all you want is for the black cloud
to go way
breathe deep and count to 10
and by the time you get to 100
or 1000
the anger quits boiling and slowly
begins to fade
to slither out like the snake it is
until the next time anger decides
to visit you again
5.2.2012
death
to those left behind
death becomes the time from whence we start counting from and not to
it’s been 27 days since Tessa was laid to rest
is’s been 288 months since I lost my unborn child
it’s been 13 years since my father died
why
why
must this be so
a burden we all must bear
instead of looking forward
we continue to look back
did we treat those who are no longer with us
the way we wanted or intended to
did they know our love
or how we even felt at all
if we could only turn the pages back
to say what we needed to say
and do the things we needed to do
to make things right in our head
would that help
would that help
would that help us to move on
instead of being left behind.
5.2.2012
Poetry
whiskers
i found a whisker of yours the other day
i carry it close to my heart.
i confess there are a few places
i do not not vacuum because i can still see
the imprint of your delicate little chocolate chip toe pads.
behind my chair and in the back of the closet.
i miss you waiting by the laundry room door
when i get home from work or the store
now the laundry room and house are lonely.
the place where your litter box was looks so empty.
sometimes i hear you meowing in the middle of
the night, i wake up and start to get out of bed
then remember you are no longer here.
i also see you peeking around the corners
late at night when i’m on the computer
or running down the hall with your mous-sey-tongue.
maybe you are still here after all.
i miss your purr motor when I feel down
i miss you tapping me with your paw.
your chair looks so empty without you,
you perched on top like a jungle cat queen.
i keep your blanket on my reading chair
finding comfort in what was yours.
it may seem silly but I found a recording
of a cat purring (white noise) and i fall
asleep listening to it, wishing, hoping it was you.
17 years. that’s a long time you were in my life.
you made me better. you loved me unconditionally.
i like to sit outside and gaze at the patch in the
garden where i buried you.
the flowers there are blooming so sweetly
the other day i found one of your whiskers
and carry it close to my heart
5.1.2012
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