I often wonder what it is that makes libraries so attractive and inviting to strange people who do weird things. Are we that welcoming? Is it just because it's a special place? Do they feel comfortable flying their freak flag?
I mean where else can you have a man mooning a lady in the parking lot because she dislikes the Astros? And where else can said man walk up to a gaggle of teen girls and tell them they are fat? Or how about the time he called a lady "cunt" (sorry mom if you are reading) just because she and her toddler happened to be walking in as he was trying to walk out.
Nest builders, dumpster divers, food snatchers--when I worked at the Medical Center Library in Houston for a few years, one of the staff would go across the street to the TWU cafeteria and get cheese rolls for breakfast only to be accosted on the walk back and have our rolls stolen.
The whisperer, Mr. Wanky, Mr. Can I have 5 crisp $1 bills. That's only the tip of the iceberg people. People who work in libraries are like bartenders. We hear anything and everything. We should also get hazard pay and haz mat suites. Cleaning up your own kid's barf is one thing, but cleaning up a trail of it down the hall that belongs to some one else's kid is another. Let's not talk about scrubbing poop off of the carpet, or cleaning up a bathroom stall where some one had the unfortunate experience of exploding everywhere. Blood, don't even get me started about blood.
Shall we talk about the gross things we find in books and dvd's? Dead bugs, chunks of food,
money (that one is not so bad), hair, uh let's just say all kinds of hair, above and below, if you get my drift. Medical prescriptions--I'd rather not know that Mr. H is becoming a Ms. Y. Barf, snot. How do you tell some one that you are charging them for a movie because it had diarrhea all over it and inside it? They want to see the proof....um yeah I kept that to show you, right. And the real big nasty animal urine. It does and can congeal, bet ya didn't know that.
Over the years we've had the growth chart man, mr. can i borrow a trash bag to tie off my arm so I can go shoot up drugs in your bathroom. The toilet percher, *Maddy who's mom fell off the moon and was trying to get back to earth. She also used to be a hand model, work at NASA and looks, according to her like Jesus. Bathroom dude who was accused of being in the women's restroom and trying to take pictures of a little girl by putting his phone under the stall.
We do give code names to identify our "people". You have to have a good sense of humor
and a strong will to work in a public library. Next time you visit one give us a smile, say hello, put please don't give us the contents of your pocket, or money with white powder on them. And for God's sake, don't come in when you're sick!
You make think all this ranting means I don't like my job. I do. It just keeps it mighty interesting, because you never, ever know what the day will bring.
On a side note the grocery store visit today was disappointing, the 6 ft+ tranny was not shopping tonight, nor was the weird couple with the man who has dyed black hair and wears blush.
Hmmm....maybe it's me that is attracting all the freaks and weirdos......nah it couldn't be, could it?
*name changed
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