surrender

today i rewarded myself.
it's been two long years of hard work.
losing weight is never easy.
for me, who eats for comfort,
to combat stress, for love,
for hate, it was a rough road.
but it was killing me.
my health was bad.
too many medications.
too much sickness.
counted carbs.
learned portion control.
learned to eat better.
keep a food journal.
go to the gym 4 times a week.
keep an exercise journal.
it's paid off.
100 lbs.
gone.
forever.
my mom says i've added years
to my new life.
years to enjoy family.
years to cherish my friends.
to do things i hadn't done in years.
years to be happy.
years to be alive again.


to surrender:
to yield to the power of another
to give oneself up
to give oneself up to some influence, some course, some emotion
to abandon or relinquish
to yield
to yield to a compulsion or a demand


i've surrendered.
surrendered to myself.
surrendered to my demons.
surrendered to my god.
surrendered to my weaknesses.
surrendered to my addictions.


i feel alive again.
whole.
healthy.
happy.
at peace.

this is my surrender to myself.